I stay in the house a lot, read and do my work. I get good grades in school and I give 110% at work. My sex life is casual, with frequent pockets of involuntary celibacy.
When my heart is broken, I throw myself into my studies and my work, I find a new project to work on, I smoke – all things to fill a void.
I want a man in my life but would I ever tell any man this detail? Hell no. Who ever wanted to be the “thirsty bitch”?
But why should straight women be forced to pretend like they don’t need the love of a man other than their fathers? Why am I less special if I want this type of attention? What makes this desire desperate?
Have you heard the saying, “The best way to get a man to pay attention to you is to pay him no attention at all.” If you agree/ disagree with this, say so in the comments. I agree with it. Although I don’t think it’s ok. I have had a man tell me that he is the type that requires a lot of attention and really doesn’t get into women who don’t give him the amount of attention he likes. (He is fine too, might I add.) With that being said, I am a strong believer that individuals have love languages, regardless of gender. (The 5 Love Languages, G. Chapman)
So why are women put down for admitting that they need a man in their lives? Doesn’t everybody need love? What’s wrong with having a need when you’ve already came into yourself, your career, your spirituality and your womanhood? And why are women sometimes the worst critics? … crab mentality, I think.
So in efforts be human, here’s my declarations:
1) I am lonely. Shoot me.
2) I am unhappily single.
3) No, I am NOT desperate. Loneliness does not equal desperation and I am still choosey about my partners.
4) I need a man in my life because I work hard as hell! I’m in a place where I’m fulfilled in my career, my family and friends, my personal goals and my hobbies. But that doesn’t mean that I’m fulfilled romantically. Coming home to the comfort of love makes a huge difference in your stress level from day to day. I also need to be squeezed, held and caressed sometimes. I need human contact!
5) Lastly, I need to be taken care of and yes, it’s a need because I can only take care of myself to a certain degree; I can’t make love to myself, for example, or be in two places at one time. It doesn’t hurt to be babied at times. Sometimes I just want to be vulnerable and I want my man to give me refuge from the woes of this world. Again, shoot me.