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“You’d be a beautiful girl if you’d just loose some weight.”


Last night, a friend invited me out to BBQs with herself and two of her buddies.  It was fun!  Great conversation, and I even bought a nice pair of slacks afterwards with our Times Square, walk the food off impromtu shopping.

While we were out, men kept gawking at them and making group-comments like, “Look at those big beautiful chocolate drops.” and “Big sexy women.”  Even before I joined them, my homegirl told me about some of the lewd, pseudo-complimentary comments.  They are all very pretty, stylish women with a lot to offer and there is nothing wrong with giving them a compliment.  But why did it have to be so animated?  If men like what they see, then why make a big spectacle of three women walking together who happen to be similar in size?  Why not just say, “You ladies look nice”?

The only time a man has ever addressed me by my physical attributes was when he was blatantly not concerned with respect or when he was making reference to my skin color by calling me Morena, which is Spanish for black girl.  I have never been called a medium girl, a pretty plump lady or a small beautiful woman.

As a woman who used to be quite overweight herself, I can feel my homegirl when she expresses her annoyance with the matter.  Nothing is worse than the, “You’re face is so pretty.” or the “You’d be a beautiful girl if you’d just loose some weight.”  My mother used to make me miserable about my weight and she still bothers me until this day, let me gain a pound.  But these women are in their own skin and know what they want for their own bodies like we all do.  There is so much judgment sometimes about people who are overweight.  Laziness, eating all the time, low self-esteem… the list goes on.  My homegirl is a bigger woman and her confidence is very apparent.  She knows who she is.  🙂  The assumptions are prejudice.

So s/o to all the women out there who are what us Americans would call big.  If a guy gives you and your friends a fat “compliment”, give him the stank face.

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