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Standards vs. Expectations: looking at love & relationships from a new perspective

Standards vs. Expectations: looking at love & relationships from a new perspective

They tell you that a man will do to you, whatever you allow him to do.  Let me be the first to say that this is 100% true.

But we all know that sometimes… things just aren’t that simple/easy/black & white.  Sometimes you honestly and truly LOVE someone, unconditionally even.

Agape love is present-life nirvana from my perspective, in that it frees us from wordly expectations.  It’s still standing when reason has fallen long ago; 15 years ago, to be exact.  But…

I have realized that every person is entitled to having standards for how they want to be treated and cared for.  I have them.  They aren’t astronomical but they do require commitment.

In order for people to meet these standards they must fulfill certain expectations.  Although sometimes, human beings fall short of them.  What do we say when a son fails to call his dad for father’s day, or when a grandchild misses her grandmother’s appreciation dinner?  The standard was there, though the expectation wasn’t met.  But year after year, we love our family anyway.

When you can’t choose who you love, you learn to love them for who they are.  Cliche, but oh-so-true.

As a special educator for high school kids, I have learned so much about setting high standards for even the most challenged of children.  They are all capable and they all have the same expectations.  But they all do not reach them at the same time or in the same way.  What matters only, is the desire to learn for themselves.

I thank God for a man that loves God, and is in turn ready to learn to love me.  As a result, I am learning to let love, period.  I’m learning that love is no mold nor model.  It’s fluid and looks different for each union, unique in every way.  Love is the product of Us and for that, I am patient and willing to deal with what’s right in front of me.  No fairytales.

With that said, I am sure that I am still reaching his expectations as well.  🙂 In fact, I have no doubt in my mind!  I over analyze things and can tend to beat a dead horse.  I’m also a bit fixed and can stand to learn to Let Go.  But what’s special is that we both believe in each other and what we’re willing to do for our love.  We believe that we’re meant for one another.  That, cliche or not, means EVERYTHING.

So I guess I’ll be expecting Us to reach Our standard of love.  Until then, I’m thinking Florida might be a good place for us to move… What do you think? 😉


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