RSS Feed

Standards vs. Expectations: looking at love & relationships from a new perspective

Standards vs. Expectations: looking at love & relationships from a new perspective

They tell you that a man will do to you, whatever you allow him to do.  Let me be the first to say that this is 100% true.

But we all know that sometimes… things just aren’t that simple/easy/black & white.  Sometimes you honestly and truly LOVE someone, unconditionally even.

Agape love is present-life nirvana from my perspective, in that it frees us from wordly expectations.  It’s still standing when reason has fallen long ago; 15 years ago, to be exact.  But…

I have realized that every person is entitled to having standards for how they want to be treated and cared for.  I have them.  They aren’t astronomical but they do require commitment.

In order for people to meet these standards they must fulfill certain expectations.  Although sometimes, human beings fall short of them.  What do we say when a son fails to call his dad for father’s day, or when a grandchild misses her grandmother’s appreciation dinner?  The standard was there, though the expectation wasn’t met.  But year after year, we love our family anyway.

When you can’t choose who you love, you learn to love them for who they are.  Cliche, but oh-so-true.

As a special educator for high school kids, I have learned so much about setting high standards for even the most challenged of children.  They are all capable and they all have the same expectations.  But they all do not reach them at the same time or in the same way.  What matters only, is the desire to learn for themselves.

I thank God for a man that loves God, and is in turn ready to learn to love me.  As a result, I am learning to let love, period.  I’m learning that love is no mold nor model.  It’s fluid and looks different for each union, unique in every way.  Love is the product of Us and for that, I am patient and willing to deal with what’s right in front of me.  No fairytales.

With that said, I am sure that I am still reaching his expectations as well.  🙂 In fact, I have no doubt in my mind!  I over analyze things and can tend to beat a dead horse.  I’m also a bit fixed and can stand to learn to Let Go.  But what’s special is that we both believe in each other and what we’re willing to do for our love.  We believe that we’re meant for one another.  That, cliche or not, means EVERYTHING.

So I guess I’ll be expecting Us to reach Our standard of love.  Until then, I’m thinking Florida might be a good place for us to move… What do you think? 😉

Advertisements

About Feminist Living

As a consumer, you have the right to choose products that are not integral components to ideologies and industries that go against your beliefs as a free person and protector of human rights. FeministLiving is the founder of FeministLiving.com, an online hub for the daily living needs of feminists across the globe. Living while feminist can be challenging when you are bombarded with war, poverty, violence in media, and the violence you encounter every single day. As colonized people we are in a special place to embrace our migrations and come together to support one another in our efforts to be free. FeministLiving.com is an online hub to help feminists purchase their daily feminist needs. Listen to empowering music from women who celebrate women; music that does not objectify us. See the art of feminist activists and grace your home with inspiration. Read feminist literature like romance and science fiction novelists, Gweneth Bolton, Iris Bolling and Ovtavia Butler and order online directly from the bookseller. Watch for Fashionable Freedom to learn where to find oppression free clothing, styled with liberty. Stay current with safe space blogs like The Crunk Feminists Collective and awesome cartoons about women of color such as The Mis-Adventures of Awkward Black Girl and Friends. Find a midwife for expecting mothers and a feminist-friendly place to worship… the possibilities are endless… Let us laugh together and share our stories. Let us look up and recognize the love and support we do have, here online with FeministLiving.com, a place where we can experience one another in one place. This is our space. Let us live, wholeheartedly and with blessed intentions. As each one of us changes the world around us everyday, help support this safe space to expand feminist-owned businesses, voices, media, activism and our everyday lives. Feminists are ALIVE and PRESENT. Help us find one another and share. 100% of our donations go directly to the Web Development Fund for FeministLiving.com to cover webpage design and development, making it possible for feminists to have global access to oppression-free products and our daily feminist living needs. DONATE NOW! http://www.gofundme.com/FeministLivingcom

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: